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by Randy OoneyMy Nickel’s Worth by Randy Ooney
Ads
When I am not bowling or using the internet, I spend more than enough time watching TV. Satellite and cable companies are very clever. They charge $70.00 or more per month for you to have 150 channels of which you may watch ten or fifteen at certain times of the day, and then they sell advertising to companies and absolutely pummel you with the commercials. Drug companies and car insurance seem to be the most prominent, so I wonder what it might be like for bowling to enter into the commercial TV advertising:
You normally carry four balls to your bowling center league. You needed new equipment so you went on the internet to order four new bowling balls, but they only sent you three. Now if you would have gone to your local pro shop you could have your full order filled, but you used the cut rate internet and only received three-fourths of your order. Did they expect that you would only bowl three-fourths of a game?
I owned a spare ball for 12 years. I loved that ball, I called it “Brad”. But then I tossed it into the gutter and missed a ten pin. It was gone, but then I broke into my happy dance. My pro shop guy gave me a new spare ball.
My wife overheard me talking on the phone: “Really? You’d do that for me?” (wife) “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO AT THREE IN THE MORNING?” (me) “My pro shop guy” (wife) “Oh yeah. What are you wearing pro shop guy?” (PSG) “Jeans”. (wife) “She sounds awful”. (me) “Yeah, well it’s a he”. Does your pro shop have a discount double check?
“I’m Bill Trickleson, pro bowler and I have sore feet. I went to my local pro shop and the guy recommended SST8s. My friend uses SST8s to relieve bunion pain on his feet also. Do not wear SST8s if you are allergic to leather, or have problems sliding on the approach. If you should step in a puddle of beer in the settee area, discontinue using the SST8s and call you pro shop immediately. Good luck and good bowling.
SNOW!! If you drive around your bowling center parking lot and snow is piled so high there are no available parking spaces, so you have to park on the street – It’s what you do. If you want to increase your average by 15 pins, you switch to a Haywire. It’s what you do. Scoring is awful – ten pins, seven pins, stone nines, sometimes a pocket seven ten. Do you have trouble hitting the same average you had when you were younger? The solution? Ask your pro shop guy if Nirvana is right for you. Do not use Nirvana on reverse block conditions or if you have trouble tossing it at least 15 miles per hour. Consult with your pro shop guy if you drink beer or smoke while you are bowling, or if you use ibuprofen. Nirvana is a state of perfect happiness. Good luck
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