by Randy Ooney     

My Nickel’s Worth                                    by Randy Ooney

                                       Boomers

Recently at one of my bowling leagues, the subject of Baby Boomers came up, and one of my teammates claimed Boomership, having been born in 1965!!  These “wannabe-me too-come lately” attitudes border on fraud, so it behooves me to set forth standards of Baby Boomerdom.  If you cannot remember, you are probably too old to be a baby boomer.

If you remember exactly what you were doing when you heard John Kennedy had been shot, you might be a baby boomer.

If the first game you ever bowled was when the pins were set by a guy with a Brylcreem ducktail, and wearing a dirty t-shirt with one sleeve rolled up over a pack of cigarettes, you might be a baby boomer.

If you were ever at a Minneapolis Millers vs. St. Paul Saints baseball game, you might be a baby boomer.

If you are counting the days until you can draw social security, rather than years, you might be a baby boomer.

If you were ever at a Minneapolis Millers vs. St. Paul Saints hockey game, you might be a baby boomer.

If you ever kept score in open bowling with a big sheet of paper and a jumbo pencil with rounded lead, you might be a baby boomer.

If you watched Butch Levy wrestle Vern Gagne for the heavyweight Championship of the world, you might be a baby boomer.

If you kept the TV on after the match to watch “Championship Bowling” from the West 7th Street Rec, you might be a baby boomer.

If  your first grade class was in a janitor’s room, cafeteria, church basement, or somewhere other than a classroom, you might be a baby boomer.

If you ever saw the Minneapolis Lakers play at the Minneapolis Auditorium, you might be a baby boomer.

If “Sputnik” was the first Russian word you learned, you might be a baby boomer.

If you watched the Gophers play Washington in the Rose Bowl, you might be a baby boomer

If you turned on your black and white TV, and had a choice between Channel 4 and Channel 5, you might be a baby boomer.

If you bowled your first game with a house ball, and you had a choice of black, black, or black with speckles, you might be a baby boomer.

If you went to the penny arcade at the State Fair, and you could  actually get something for a penny, you might be a baby boomer.

Part II

If you think the Minneapolis Skippers had something to do with the Aquatennial you are NOT a baby boomer.

If you thought the Beatles’ first album was “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”, you are not a baby boomer.

If your first car did not have fins, you are not a baby boomer.

If your first date, after securing your first car, was not a drive-in movie, you are not a baby boomer.

If the coin left under your pillow by the tooth fairy was not 90% silver, you are not a baby boomer.

If the tooth fairy left you folding money, you are definitely not a baby boomer.

If you did not qualify as a boomer, don’t feel bad.  Go out and get a Jeff Foxworthy CD.  You might be a redneck.

 

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